


Oh, the Irony...

by LostLine



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Fluff and Humor, Fluff and Smut, Humor, Love at First Sight, M/M, Multi, awesome school with amazing kids who r just having fun with the sole expense of being dumb, bunch of loving relationships, healthy relationship with exes, healthy relationship with sex, tired idiots stuff their faces with junk food
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-01
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 04:02:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22937539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LostLine/pseuds/LostLine
Summary: The finals are happening/finishing and the filthy rich are throwing a party of the year. Baekhyun, who feeds on chaos — in the middle of the hurly-burly night around him — falls in love.
Relationships: Byun Baekhyun/Kim Jongin | Kai
Kudos: 15





	1. Baekhyun's Day

Baekhyun inhaled in and exhaled out deeply, his arms outstretched, enjoying the warm sunshine on his face —

A sharp slap landed on his ass — rude— and the smacker said, “Get out of the way, you trash bag.” 

Ah, that dull and murderous voice, of course, belonged to Kyungsoo. He opened his eyes and the fucker holding out a pack of chicken salad sandwiches to him — his favorite. 

People passed by them left and right, laughing at them — okay, him —, someone (Chanyeol, but barely recognizable) chugged an entire can of Monster in one go, burped loudly, slapped himself really hard in the face repeatedly with both his hands, shouted “FUCKING LET’S GO!” and walked into a classroom, followed by hollow shells that once used to be people, that were using the last bit of their energy to giggle. 

“Stop laughing, don’t even smile!” Kyungsoo hissed at him. Baekhyun flipped him off right in the face and took the sandwiches. 

“Thanks! How many exams do you have left?” he said, walking at a soft pace with Kyungsoo. 

“Two, and one of them is in 20 minutes.”

“Which one?”

“Biochem,”

Baekhyun physically winced (he had seen few times what that class got up to, when he would accompany Kyungsoo to his classes) and hissed in air through between his teeth. “I’m so sorry, man. What’s the next one?”

“Physics,” Kyungsoo said, sounding more and more dead.

“Tell you what? You come out of them alive and I’ll make sure you get laid tonight? If nobody is up for it, I’ll fuck you myself. See? Foolproof.” 

Kyungsoo glared at him, his lips curled in disgust, the special one he grew for Baekhyun. “I’m straight. And the only “college curiosity” episode I’ll have is with someone really hot — someone tall and hot,” he added when Baekhyun tried to cut him off to defend his hot self.

“Baby, I’m done!” a girl screamed into her phone. She was actually in tears. She stopped dead in her tracks to hear whatever the other person was saying, then … (Baekhyun and Kyungsoo also stopped to listen) … “FUUUUUUUUUK FUK FUK FUCCKKKKKK! YES, YOU’RE AMAZING! WE’RE GONNA DIE TONIGHT! I’m gonna go take a nap and I’ll call you and we’ll go — yes, I saved up tons. Gonna blast the whole thing on booze tonight!...”

“Fucking happy people are everywhere,” Kyungsoo grumbled, he finished up his own drink (probably some dead black coffee that tasted like Zeus’ butthole), threw it into the nearest garbage can, but missed. The pathetic crumpled cup — still better looking than most of the people around btw — landed by someone’s feet, whose owner looked up, frowning. “What’re you looking at? _Pick it up!_ ” Kyungsoo barked at him, as if he was telling off a litterer. The poor guy jumped, nodded in fear, and did as he was told. Probably a freshman, a sophomore at most. Ah yes, this was exactly the reason why Baekhyun kept Kyungsoo around. 

  
  
Baekhyun dropped off Kyungsoo in front of his classroom, planted a wet smooch on both of his cheeks for good luck (Kyungsoo grumbled and pushed him but looked pleased) and made his way to the heart of the campus. 

Someone had fallen asleep on a bench, curled up into a ball. Baekhyun went up to him and saw that he had a paper clutched into his chest — timetable for all his exams. The guy had an oral in whatever in about 3 hours. He also had a phone sticking out of his back pocket, Baekhyun fished it out and put a timer that would go off in two and half hours (full volume, of course). Unless he had a heart attack and died, which wasn't unlikely, if he had to be honest with himself, the guy was forever in debt to him, as far as Baekhyun was concerned. 

Strutting and humming a tune happily, Baekhyun came to a halt in front of a small study room. He had never used this one before but his longed-one was known to be a frequenter, so…

Softly and gently, on his tiptoes, he entered the room and looked around. A guy was staring at his laptop with an obvious murderous rage — yikes. Next to him, another guy was making something with what looked like a bunch of Play-Dohs — big yikes. A group of three girls were frantically having a silent argument over a big parchment laid on the table. And in the corner, by the window: messy hair bun and an atrociously decorated pink backpack. 

Baekhyun prodded the sleeping girl and then started shaking her gently when she wouldn’t wake. 

“Wh-what? My backpack’s still here?” she opened her eyes but only barely, they kept closing back and finally settled on being 90% shut. 

“Hey, beautiful,” Baekhyun whispered. “Yes, your bag's still here. Wanna come to a party tonight?”

“What party?”

“Junmyeon’s birthday party. You know that gigantic house — a mansion, really — on campus? One with the rainbow flag?”

“Ah, _that_ party … I thought it was discovered to be a really big pair of underwear?” 

Baekhyun grinned. “Yeah, I broke my arm while coming down after we put it up. Freshman year was the best.”

She smiled, eyes now completely shut. “What time? If you’re gonna be there, I’ll come.”

_Good girl._

“Just come whenever after nine. They’re getting the whole place cleaned all day today. Bring your friends if you want to.” Baekhyun said, kissing her head. He left her sound asleep, his mood getting better and better.

As he left the room, Baekhyun saw one of the three girls mouth ‘ _Moron!_ ’, her eyes on fire, and the receiving girl pointed her finger at her, going, ‘ _You!_ , and the first one picked it up and they went back and forth, pointing at each other, ‘ _you!_ ’ — ‘ _no, you!_ ’ 

The girl in the middle was checking something on her phone, completely unfazed. 

Fuck, he loved to be free to watch when others suffered. Totally worth all the suffering he put himself through to finish up all his projects and exams as early as possible. 

This, the end of semester, when everyone got naked and ugly (both figuratively and literally) was _his time_. And fuck him if he wasn’t going to enjoy every second of it.

  
  
  


He saw Hyuna sitting on a big desk in the middle of Baekhyun’s favorite garden, scrolling through her phone. There were half a dozen boxes around her and people were taking some as they passed. 

Baekhyun squinted at the box. _Condoms?_

“ _Niiiiiice!_ ” he said, opening up his bag, ready to fill it up. He hadn’t gotten a present for Junmyeon. Surely this was a sign from the heavens?

Hyuna looked up and smiled, all cheeks and dimples. Her eyeliner was flawless, lips red. Baekhyun spotted Dawn, Hyuna’s boyfriend, reading a book on a bench behind her. 

“Well, we know what’s gonna go down after finals — no need to pretend it doesn’t happen — so might as well make sure... “

Baekhyun nodded in agreement. Very wise. He jumped when Hani came and dropped a box, which was full of…

“ _Lubes_? You’re giving out free lubes too? Damn.”

Hani slapped her hands clean, grinning. “Ah, people really need to get used to using lubes more, you know? Not just for guys, but girls too!”

“Hear, hear!,” Baekhyun said. He took out his sandwiches from his bag and offered some to Hyuna, who politely declined, but Hani accepted a slice.

“— thanks. Yeah, not even all girls know that they don’t get wet every time they’re horny. Sometimes, no matter how … _stimulated_ you are, if you will, you might not get that wet and that’s okay. Want some?” she added, taking out cans of beer from her bag. 

Baekhyun’s chest swelled, surprised and proud. Hani laughed at his face and opened up a can for him.

“Thanks! Girls are the best!” Baekhyun took a long, satisfying swing. The beer was quite cold. “Do you have a _fridge in your room?!_ ”

Hani nodded. “And one in our club room — that’s where these babies come from.”

“To the Sex Club!” Baekhyun roared.

“To the Sex Club!” Hani repeated, clashing her can against his. She took an impressive gulp out of it and slammed it down hard on the table. “ _Kkhhhhaaa_! I needed that.”

“Wooohooo!” Hyuna yelled (not looking up from her phone).

“Woohoo,” Dawn echoed her (not looking up from his book).

  
  


Baekhyun sat down on one of the free benches with Hani and started reminiscing about how long it took her and Hyuna to get an approval for their club and get it up and running, back in their freshman year. 

_'Healthy Sex Club'_ had been suggested but the girls had rejected it on the spot. Sex _was_ healthy, they had argued. Well, at least it was supposed to be. There was a whole new generation of virgins (mostly) coming into school every year, they deserved better, to learn from the mistakes the older generations made. 

Health was supposed to be a vital part of it — a standart, basic norm known by everyone.

How about, ‘Sex Education Club’? or ‘Consensual — 

Sex _is_ consensual! Hani had, legendarily, yelled out to the administration staff. What the fuck was this consensual sex everyone kept saying? _Of course_ sex was consensual, if it wasn’t, then it wasn’t sex. It was _rape!_

But the name ‘Sex Club’ is so _suggestive_ … 

They just wanted a fun club that embraced sex, for what it was. Simple as that. Of course, they would always be ready to educate, inform and warn about the diseases that may come with it. All classes, PDF files were to be given for free, of course.

So the girls had started collecting signatures for their petition to get the club opened, when the headmistress, the big boss, the owner, herself heard about it (nobody knew exactly how).

The club had gotten the green light right away. 

  
  
  


Baekhyun finished up his beer and sandwich, kissed Hani goodbye and stuffed as many condoms as he could into his bag before Hyuna slapped his hands away. He stuck his tongue out at her and grabbed two bottles of lubes and ran away. Dawn laughed softly. 

“Coming to Junmyeon’s birthday party tonight?” he called out as he walked (fastly) away. 

“Only reason we’re still on campus!” Hyuna replied.

Hips and chin swaying, Hwasa was coming at them, holding her own box, which was full of handcuffs. Baekhyun took a pair as he passed her, just in case.

“Coming tonight?”

She gave him a knowing look, eyebrows dancing. ‘You know it, baby,”

Damn, tonight was gonna be fucking —

“Stop him! STOP HIM! TRIP HIM! KILL HIM! NOW — STOP HIM!” 

Baekhyun, still holding his two bottles of lube, with the handcuffs dangling from his fingers, flattened himself against the wall as a guy sprinted past him, wind behind his back. 

A moment later, another guy swooshed by him, cursing and yelling. For some reason, he was cradling a small fire extinguisher. 

He _loved_ the final days. 


	2. Hooked

Since he wanted to put Junmyeon’s presents in a pretty pink box (preferably with a lid that had a ribbon on it), Baekhyun went on a quest. So, to the nearest girls’ dormitory!

The girls had this amazing small park in front of their dormitory building. It was looked after extremely well, had a bunch of fruit trees and colorful flowers everywhere you saw. 

There was a group of girls by the big cherry blossom tree. All doing squats with a kick, under the instructions of Bora, one of the healthiest and happiest souls on earth. 

“Hey, Baekhyun!” she called out, smiling. She was wearing a happy-yellow tank top and very short white denim shorts. Her tanned skin was glowing under the sun. She looked like a giddy goddess.

Baekhyun had been lucky enough to spend a few months fooling around with her together. They had their fun. None of them was looking for anything serious and they were extremely compatible, so it was awesome. Sex with her was always fun. And, now that Baekhyun thought about it, it seemed like whenever they had sex, the sun was shining high in the sky and everything was warm. Baekhyun loved it best when she would ride him, her perky breasts jiggling and Bora would tell him funny things she heard about that day. 

The rest of the girls, whose backs were turned to him, immediately stood up taller and did their squats more properly with the mention of Baekhyun’s name. All of a sudden, nobody was grunting or gasping. 

Baekhyun grinned; he still got it. 

“Five more and then twenty squats with a crunch, that’s ten for each side.” Bora said as Baekhyun came to her.

“Hello, you’re so pretty,” he told her. 

“Thank you, you too,” she smiled at him, still doing the squats. “What’re you doing here?”

“Looking for a pink box. Have any?”

Bora thought for a moment and shook her head. “You should ask Sunmi. The diva princess should have at least a thousand items in different shades of pink.”

“Yes!” Baekhyun kissed Bora’s cheek. “Looking good!” 

“See you tonight!” Bora called out after him, and then got into a fit of giggles. Baekhyun looked back to see two of the girls collapsed on the ground. They saw him looking and got up swiftly. 

  
  


Sunmi’s room was huge, and it housed only her. There was a big window with two doors facing the queen size bed, which had four white drapes dangling from it. The headboard was taller than average and half of it was hidden behind a mountain of pillows. There was a vanity with a row of lights attached to it. Hot pink study desk, next to three middle sized bookshelves (jam packed full, and had cute plants on them). Two white doors that opened up to her closet (she had complained many times it was too small) and a pair of huge wings — like the ones the angels of Victoria’s Secret got — on the wall. 

She wasn’t present, so Baekhyun got a bunch of magazines from her desk, sat down on the floor by the foot of her bed and started to wait. 

When he woke up, his head was resting on a soft pillow and there was a bed cover draped over him. Sunmi was in her closet, putting some clothes away in a box. From where he was, Baekhyun enjoyed an awesome view of her beautiful legs. She was probably the only person on campus today who was fully dressed-up and wearing a full make-up.

“Hey, gorgeous,” she said. “Good thing the weather is warm, you could have gotten sick. I was going to wake you up anyway if you weren’t awake when I was done. Can never be too careful.”

“Thanks,” Baekhyun said. He folded up the cover neatly and left it on her bed, then he put the magazines back on her desk, and got into the closet with her.

“Are you gonna make a joke about being in the closet?” she said, surveying a black jacket with shrewd eyes. 

Baekhyun, who was about to make a joke about being back in the closet, guffawed, deeply offended. He looked around dramatically, “Me?” he demanded. “How dare you — no such thing crossed my mind — you just insulted my — ooooh that’s pretty, can I have it?”

He had just seen exactly what he was looking for. It was a pink round box with a lid that had an atrociously big bow on it. 

Sunmi raised her eyebrows, picking it up. “Sure, what for though?”

“I got bunch of condoms for Junmyeon,”

“Why would you — aaaaah,” Sunmi giggled when she got the joke. “That’s so mean.”

“It’ll be the most ironic gift of all. So, can I have it?”

“Yeah, yeah.” Sunmi took out the pair of shoes that were in it, looked at them for a moment and then dumped it into the box, which was filled to the brim with clothes. 

“Thanks! I knew I could count on your filthy richness!”

“Anytime, babe!”

  
  
  
  


His stomach was starting to make weird noises, so Baekhyun made his way back to his room. Lubes and handcuffs were inside the box (which smelled amazing btw, because Sunmi used perfume on pretty much everything), the condoms were safe in his bag, he still had some time to eat, take a nap, eat again, shoot some people online, and take a shower before the party. All was good. 

“Hold the door! Please hold it!” A girl shouted out, and Baekhyun stuck his foot back to keep the elevator doors open. 

Four girls he didn’t recognize were carrying a weird statue thing between them. Bunch of things were sprouting out from it. There were hooks everywhere. 

“Need a hand?”

“No, no, it’s not that heavy,” one of the girls answered as they passed by him. “Thanks though, and thanks for the door,”

“Yeah, no problem,” Baekhyun took a step, and another, and  _ another _ , before he realized the ripping and spilling sound was coming from him — his backpack. 

He looked behind him in horror.

“Shit! so sorry! One of the hooks got, well, hooked — I’m so sorry!” said the girl who thanked him.

The rest of the girls were staring at all the condoms that spilled out. The door of the elevator closed, collided with the statue and opened up again. 

“We’ll — I’ll just pick these up —” she started again, all pink and flustered. 

“No, no! You girls just go ahead, I’ll pick these up. They’re for a joke,” he said weakly, knowing they probably didn’t believe him. 

The girls finally got the statue (?) to stand on its own — what was that thing doing in a dormitory anyway? — and waved him bye, while Baekhyun stood tall, smiling at them like a maniac, like nothing happened. 

“Oh,” 

Baekhyun turned around ... and ... there stood the most gorgeous guy he had ever seen. He was just standing there on the stairs — he was probably going down — looking at him curiously. Then he smiled. Baekhyun felt his chest tighten.

“Need a hand?”

Baekhyun nodded, mouth open, his insides were feeling really weird. Who was this guy? He was the heart and soul of this school, if there was a guy this hot, he would have known. 

The gorgeous stranger took out a small, cute eco-bag out of his own bag (the small ones with one strap that you just put it around your chest) and started to fill it up with the fallen condoms, his sorry excuses of school supplies, and all the other junks he carried around, all the while Baekhyun just stood there, frozen and confused. 

“Looks like you’ll be mighty busy tonight,” the guy said, handing him the bag. He was smiling though, obviously joking, trying to be friendly, and Baekhyun really needed to _say_ _something_. 

“Uh … hehe,” Baekhyun said weakly, “Thank you,”

“No problem,”

He stood there for a moment, as if he was waiting for something? And then said, “See you, maybe” and started to walk away.

The last few of his working brain cells finally managed to make the  _ ding! _ go off in his head, and Baekhyun said really loudly, “Can I get you something? Coffee? As a thank —”

“JONGIN! FUCKER, WHERE ARE — ah, here you are,” said some dude Baekhyun vaguely remembered as a hot dancer. He came thundering down the stairs. “She said yes! Come on, we gotta go, we gotta go  _ now! _ ”

The stranger — Jongin — gave him an apologetic look and a small smile before getting dragged away by the hot dancer, who was obviously a selfish asshole. As they descended, Jongin gave him one last look and rounded a corner.

  
  
  


“What happened to you?” Kyungsoo asked when Baekhyun got into his room. He was stuffing a kimbap roll into his mouth. 

“I don’t know,” Baekhyun said. He put the box and the bag on the table, and dropped down on his bed. “I saw — I think I’m in love,”

Kyungsoo snorted.

Baekhyun turned to face him. “No — I mean it. It was so weird, I don’t even know him. I just saw him and … I felt my heart skip, Kyungsoo. My heart literally  _ skipped a beat _ .”

Seeing the serious look on his face, Kyungsoo dropped whatever insult he was gonna make. “Maybe he’s just that hot?”

“There is more … I felt calm, but my heart was also beating fast. I was really nervous but I also knew it was okay. I don’t know, am I making sense?”

Kyungsoo didn’t answer right away, he sat there, frowning, obviously thinking. Then he jumped up fast and groaned, covering his eyes with his hands. “Ah, my vision’s blurry, why do I always do this myself?” 

He took a moment and sighed. “Okay, not dizzy anymore. I have to go — gotta go fail my exam. You don’t have a shit to do, go look for your hot guy. What if he’s graduating this year? And you can eat the rest of my kimbap.” Kyungsoo said, gesturing at the tiny bite left on the floor. Then he left him alone with his erratic heartbeats. 

Baekhyun spent an hour laying on his bed, thinking and smiling and then squealing in shame. He remembered the long limbs, the warm eyes, the messy hair, and the soft voice. It was a lovely memory to have; he just wished he was better in it.

_ Jongin.  _

What if Kyungsoo was right? What if he  _ was  _ graduating this year?  _ No way _ , he said to himself firmly. No way he was unaware of the presence of someone that pretty.

He already gave up on the idea of looking for him. The campus was huge, he could be anywhere. Maybe that dancer dude took him out of town, who knew? It’s not like he could go around asking people if they saw someone hot. Well, he could … but everyone was just so  _ unstable _ now. 

First things first, food. 

Baekhyun ordered a middle sized pizza for himself (with extra cheese), he chose a game and settled down. After yelling at strangers online to stuff it for about 3 hours, he felt so much better. He finished the last bit of his coke, set up his alarm and took a nap. 

It was a bit past 8 o’clock when he woke up and Kyungsoo still hadn’t returned. Baekhyun figured he probably went straight to the party house. Bad idea: Junmyeon never let anyone sit still and just be when  _ he  _ was working. 

Jongin was constantly in his mind. When he showered, when he put on his clothes (his favorite pair of jeans, new t-shirt and his beloved old black denim jacket with a hoodie that felt like home), and even when he prepared Junmyeon’s present. 

Baekhyun counted and found he'd managed to score 73 condoms, so he put 4 aside, and put the rest of it with the lubes and the handcuffs in the box.

His stomach and throat oddly tight, Baekhyun styled his hair for a minute and headed out into the most anticipated night of the year, fully intending to eat all of Junmyeon’s cake, spill his booze, just generally mooch off of him and damage his properties as physically as possible in one night. 

  
  



	3. Wade Wilson Makes a Cameo, Sort of

Of course, the party had already started. Starved for months, the students — at least the ones who made out alive — were all dying to get back to being their trashy, regrettable selves. 

Bunch of people were on the front lawn. Most of them stoners. Someone was trying to grill something; it just had way too much fire going on. A girl came over to him, smacked him on the head and started to yell at him for burning her meat. 

A couple had made a comfortable space for themselves with a big sheet and pillows, they were gazing at the sky, arms around each other and goofy smiles on their faces. 

Baekhyun spotted Bora standing in one of the balconies, eating ice cream and talking to a pale tall girl whose name was probably Dasom. She waved at him happily, bouncing on her feet. He waved back.

The music (some club banger that probably had a name, no that anyone cared) that was already so loud to his ears when he was outside, assaulted him heavily when Baekhyun walked into the house. The floor was shaking, the  _ ceiling _ was shaking, there were sweaty and loud people everywhere. Thank goodness Junmyeon had a strict ‘no smoking inside’ rule. 

“Baekhyun is HERE! BAEKHYUN! BAEKHYUN! BAEKHYUN!” 

Baekhyun looked around and spotted Chanyeol, in room no:1, beckoning at him madly, a homicidal grin on his face. Everyone around him was waving at him too. How were they drunk already? 

“BAEKHYUN! BAEKHYUN! BAEKHYUN! —” 

The chant wouldn’t stop, so Baekhyun dropped his present on a table with the rest of the presents (mostly wrapped boxes and bags, but there was also a small pot of cactus, a desk lamp, an old copy of ‘A Tale of Two Cities’, a box of cereal, and other random stuff a college student had lying around) and made his way to the crowd. 

“HERE, TAKE THIS!” Chanyeol thrusted a shot at him. Baekhyun took it, sniffed at it and grimaced. He felt himself getting drunk just by the sharp, intruding smell of it.

“What’s in it?” 

“I DON’T KNOW. BUNCH OF STUFF! IT’S GOOD!”

“What do you mean you don’t know?!” Baekhyun demanded, frowning.

“Taeyeon made it — SHE’S YOUR EX!!”

Baekhyun deflated in relief. He looked around and saw Taeyeon (she was just visible through the open kitchen doors) sitting on a counter, bunch of bottles around her. She looked like a cute witch experimenting. 

“NOONA MADE THIS!” Chanyeol yelled again.

“WHY ARE YOU SO LOUD?” Baekhyun yelled back at him, and some girls on his immediate vision started giggling. 

Chanyeol paused, thinking. “I DON’T KNOW!” he boomed and started laughing, his whole body seemed to be vibrating. 

Baekhyun got rid of the shot in one go, refused the next one Chanyeol immediately brought it out of nowhere. “That’s revolting, you dipshit. Obviously she hates you. How was your exam?”

“Probably passed it.” He yelled, and then held his glass high. “TO PROBABLY PASSING!” 

“TO PROBABLY PASSING!” the people around him cheered and took their shots too. Chanyeol put down his glass really hard on the table, seemed to get startled, but then started to smack the table. Everyone joined right away. 

“TO PROBABLY PASSING! TO PROBABLY PASSING!” They chanted and banged the table together, like they were doing some sort of weird ritual to call the devil for their aid once again. Baekhyun left them to it.

  
  


In room no:2, which was stuffed with couches and chairs, Hyuna and Dawn were participating in a Nerf championship game. There was a jar full of money that the winner would get. All one needed to do was hit as many targets as possible out of twelve, which were mostly small toys placed in random places. Baekhyun put 20,000 won into the jar and waited for his turn.

He hit the naked minion on the table easily, then the ghost plushie, the nose spray bottle, and the screaming purple alien on top of a rocking chair fell down one after another. But a Deadpool lego figure standing on top of the calendar on the wall, the absolute fucker, marked his fall. Screaming in agony, Baekhyun passed the gun to the next contender; Hyuna had already hit the Deadpool so his hope for victory was already gone. 

  
  


There were a bunch of cupcakes in all the colors of the world on a table in the corner, so Baekhyun picked up a few and settled down on a couch. Dawn came to sit next to him, watching the rest of the contestants try to beat Hyuna’s record (17 toys). 

“Hello, boys,” Hwasa purred. She never just seemed to talk like a human being. She was like this cheetah goddess having fun amongst the (lucky) mortals. Always smiling and smirking and swaying and waving … and she had arms full of Cheetos.

Dawn took two packages with a grateful moan, threw one to Hyuna before opening up his own. 

“Hey, come sit down,” Baekhyun invited.

“Nah, I’m gonna go dance. Just came here to share these goodies with you, they’re running out real fast you know?” she said, dumping the rest of the packages on Baekhyun’s lap. She ruffled Baekhyun’s hair and went off. Dawn thanked her.

Right after, looking pale and scared-to-death, Mino came over and sat down opposite Baekhyun and Dawn. His eyes were open but they didn’t seem to be seeing. Baekhyun eyed Mino’s new tattoo on his chest peeking out (his shirt was quite low-cut) and his jacket was two sizes too big for him, as usual. 

“Here, drink this,” said Jihoon, shuffling over. He looked flushed and nervous. 

Mino took the bottle of water without really looking and drank the whole thing down. 

“What’s wrong?” Dawn asked.

Jihoon laughed nervously, and he cast a fearful look at Mino, who was still just staring dead ahead. “He … eh … took a dare — I dared him so it was my fault — basically he failed to submit his paper …” he trailed off and took some hasty steps back because Mino jumped up. 

“I’m gonna go to his house and apologize. There’s no other — you think I can find a boombox? — Do you have a big old boombox?” he asked Baekhyun, like he just saw him.

“Eh … no, sorry,” Baekhyun answered. “Where do you want to go?” 

There was absolutely no way in hell he was letting Mino go out in his current state.

“No, you can’t go!” Jihoon cut in. “You can hit me — fine, I deserve it — but you can’t go to Professor’s house —  _ two _ Professors’ house, may I remind you?”

“Wait, wait. What did you do?” Baekhyun asked. “Maybe I can help.”

“I dared him to submit his papers when there was one second left till the deadline,” Jihoon said, looking down at his feat. Mino threw his empty bottle of water at him, which hit Jihoon squarely on his head. Jihoon, probably feeling he deserved it, only pouted and didn’t make a sound. 

Dawn choked on his beer that he had just opened up to wash down the cheetos. 

Baekhyun willed himself to keep a straight face. “Let me guess … eh… it didn’t submit in one second?”

Mino nodded, looking so thoroughly miserable that Baekhyun decided not to spread the story around tonight. There was always tomorrow. 

“And why do you need a boombox?” Dawn asked, coughing loudly and also determinedly keeping a straight face. 

“To woo him?” Mino said weakly. “He’s old, and there’s always those guys asking for another chance with a boombox over their head in old movies.”

“Who’s the Professor?”

“Tablo — the coolest one in the whole school!” Jihoon answered. “He’ll understand.” he was obviously desperately wishing for it to be true, out of guilt. 

“You may have a chance if it’s Professor Tablo,” Baekhyun said, nodding slowly. “He’s extremely understanding because he himself needs a lot of understanding from others. I’ve no idea what he would do if his wife also wasn’t at the campus. A wild card in human flesh. Extremely chaotic — chaotic good, though,”

Dawn laughed. “Yeah, he once shoved everyone close for a test, put a camera in front of us and threatened to fail anyone who moved out of the frame. He slept during the whole thing. Said his daughter would watch the video later on for cheaters, apparently that’s how she earns her pocket money,”

“See?” Jihoon said, pulling Mino into a hug, who was looking a little bit hopeful. “The man’s a legend.”

“Then why hasn’t he answered any of my emails? He didn’t pick up his phone once! ONCE, JIHOON! DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD I WORKED THIS YEAR? — YOU GO!” Mino roared, suddenly very angry. “YOU GO AND BRING HIM TO ME, YOU 3G! OR TAKE ME TO HIS HOME!” he had Jihoon grabbed by the collar and was shaking him back and forth. Poor Jihoon’s head was uselessly dangling. 

Dawn started choking again and people around them were laughing their wasted asses off. Baekhyun, on the other hand, cleared his throat, switched his legs for his cross-legged position — a power move, demonstrated marvelously by a baby-legged Deadpool in Deadpool 2 — and said, “I think he got how very sorry you are, Mino,”

Mino turned around so fast to where Baekhyun was looking and winced like a kicked puppy, clutching his head. 

Professor Tablo was standing by the room’s entrance, wearing a knitted sweater over a button-up. His hair was a spectacular example of a cow-lick, and he barely had time to open his mouth when Mino screamed and flung himself fully on him. Jihoon, horrified, quickly wrapped his arms around Mino’s stomach and pulled him away. 

“Stop calling me, you plugged nose,” Professor Tablo said, fixing up his outfit. “What’s the matter with you? Why did you call me 36 times? Are we going through a divorce?” 

“I’m so sorry!” Mino wailed, still trying to get to him. “Can you please please accept my papers? Jihoon here!” he turned around and thrust the said sad boy to Professor Tablo, and smacked his head, ‘’he — fucking idiot — no, wait, sorry I said that, Professor — he dared me … we were kinda drunk and I always lose my brain cells twice as fast when I’m with him and —”

“Fuck’s sake, man, calm down,” Professor Tablo said, rubbing his eyes. “I get it — I’ll accept your submission. Go get a drink or something. Now  _ my _ brain cells are dying. Actually,” he added, as Mino and Jihoon hugged each other and started jumping up and down gleefully, “go eat something, you lost weight again, holy shit…”

“But why didn’t you answer my emails?” Mino asked, looking hurt. 

“Because my daughter finally leaves me and my wife alone for a few hours a day, and we don’t intend to waste it by doing our jobs,” 

Mino made an understanding nose and then flushed in embarrassment. 

“We were napping, you sad blister. Do you know how tired we are to get you all dipshits to graduate and go away?”

He smoothly avoided Mino and Jihoon’s attempt to pull him into a hug, swatted a threatening fist in the air and spotted Baekhyun. 

“Good evening, Professor, want a cupcake?”

Professor Tablo eyed it suspiciously. “What’s in it? If I come home high, you know my wife won’t speak to me until I cry,”

“Eh … they’re just cupcakes, Professor,” Dawn said. “Hyuna placed an order for tonight.”

“Ah, but I really should be watching what I’m eating these days,” Professor Tablo said, sitting down and accepting the cupcake Baekhyun held out to him. “Have to pay attention to shit like my cholesterol level,” 

He took a bite and moaned in delight, looking down at it like he was holding his baby. “I forgot how good these tasted! You know there was a time I went without eating a single slice of cake for years?” He finished off his cupcake, frowned when Baekhyun didn’t present another one right away and motioned with his hand impatiently. 

“Will you stay, Professor?” Dawn asked Professor Tablo as he gobbled down the second cupcake. 

He shook his head. “Nah, gotta go home now. Just dropped in to make sure my favorite still had a pulse. Not that I do favorites with students, but he’s my favorite.” He shot a dirty look at Mino, who was sitting beside him, looking at him with all the love in the world. At least, that’s how he must be looking Baekhyun guessed, from behind his heart-shaped sunglasses with a pink frame that he had whipped out. Along with his sunflower patterned bandana wrapped around his head, he looked like the prettiest, most out-going Russian grandma.

“I’ll never forget this, Professor. I really appreciate it.”

“You sober now?”

“Yeah, I sobered up pretty much right away when I realized what I did — what he made me do,” Mino turned around, presumably to shoot a dirty look of his to Jihoon, who was … not there. 

“Yeaaaah, he walked away as soon as you guys stopped hugging,” Dawn supplied helpfully. 

Mino groaned. “He promised to be my bitch for the night — sorry, Professor. I was gonna make him bring me all of my drinks, wipe my nose and stuff.”

Professor Tablo merely chuckled. He heaved up himself with a deep sigh. “I’ll let you kids party now for real, then. OLD MAN GOING! I REPEAT, OLD MAN GOING!” he yelled around. Some students cheered. “I HEARD THAT AND I’M SALTY ENOUGH TO FAIL YOU!” 

“HANG ON, PROFESSOR! DON’T GO — HERE!” Chanyeol came running into the room, spilling half the contents of the shot glasses he was holding. Baekhyun saw he had forced a bottle of some liquor into his back pocket.

“I’m not drinking —”

“BUT IT’S SO GOOD!”

“Really — you drink it. I’m leaving —”

“BUT I RAN HERE FOR YOU!”

“That’s sweet of you, Chanyeol —”

“WHAT IF I NEVER SEE YOU AGAIN?”

‘I don’t plan to die so soon, you little —”

“ARE YOU DRIVING TONIGHT?”

Professor Tablo didn’t say anything for a moment, but then, ‘NO!” he shouted, more like roared, and Chanyeol jumped in fright. His eyes were huge and were bulging out ominously. “MY FRIEND DROVE ME HERE! I JUST DON’T WANT TO DRINK YOUR PISS!” he yelled into Chanyeol’s face.

Chanyeol looked really confused for a second, his lips trembled, but then, “IT’S NOT MY PISS, IT’S TAEYEON’S! — NOT HER PISS — SHE DIDN’T PEE IN THIS!” and he took a shot, as if to prove it.

Mino fell on the floor laughing. Poor Dawn was choking again. Baekhyun’s stomach was starting to hurt from laughing, he fanned his face with his hands, wheezing. 

To get rid of Chanyeol, who was now clutching his legs, Professor Tablo poured the remaining glass of shot into his throat, grimaced, kicked Chanyeol aside and left, muttering to himself.

Jihoon was seen briefly, waving Professor Tablo goodbye, but he saw Mino, who was looking up from the floor, and ran. Mino ran after him, cursing. 

“Baby, look what I got!” Hyuna jumped over the couch and landed on Dawn’s lap, who made a wincing face but didn’t make a sound. She was holding a jar full of money.

“That’s amazing, baby. You’re amazing,” Dawn whispered, brushing her hair away from her face. Smiling sweetly, Hyuna pulled him into a kiss. 

With no wish to take Hui’s place as the campus’ national third-wheeler, Baekhyun got up from the couch, stepped on Chanyeol deliberately, who was still on the floor and made his way to the kitchen. He was craving something warm and fried. Actual food, not junk. Actual food  _ and then _ junk, he thought, nodding to himself seriously. 

All the guys who were standing around in the kitchen, obviously hoping to get Taeyeon’s attention, glared at him the moment he entered. Baekhyun, simply unconcerned, let Taeyeon pull him into a hug. He noticed one of the guys make a jerky movement. 

“Hi, did Chanyeol finally die?” Taeyeon asked, looking very pretty with her platinum blonde hair braided into two.

“Sadly, no. But don’t lose hope yet; the night has just begun.” Baekhyun said to Taeyeon, and then, “What’s that you’re pounding?” he asked a blond guy, who was sneaking looks at them.

“Mashed potato?” the guy answered, offering him some.

Baekhyun tasted it. It melted inside his mouth. “Dude!” he shoved the guy on the shoulder. “This is so good — Taeyeon come, taste this.”

The guy swallowed nervously and offered Taeyeon a spoonful of his mashed potato, his hands were trembling terribly. Taeyeon just smiled at him sweetly and took the spoon. 

“This really is good. Why’re you making this?” she asked.

Blushing furiously — even his ears were red — the Mashed Potato dude answered, “My friend is grilling some meat outside. He said — I thought rice and mashed potato would — would go well. Maybe … um … maybe you want to eat with us? There is plenty! We have a bunch of kimchi — so many types — and ummm my classmate is making salad, too ...”

He stood there, hopeful. 

“Korean beef!” A guy by the sink shouted out of nowhere. Everyone jumped. “My friends are on their way. You’re welcome to eat with us!” 

“We have beef and pork and chicken  _ and _ fish! My best bud is an amazing cook, Taeyeon!” the only girl in the room said, entering the competition. She smiled smugly. “All kinds of drinks and games and those of us who don’t drink will drive us home,” 

“We can do other stuff too if you want!” the sink guy added right away. 

“Anything you want,” said the Mashed Potato Dude.

Then everyone was shouting out offers, promises of a sweet night well spent, all getting louder and louder in an attempt to drown the others. 

The story of Taeyeon’s life. 

Taeyeon’s hand brushed by Baekhyun’s, it was only for a moment but Baekhyun understood her plea for help. He took her hand firmly. “Why don’t we go dance? I think you played your part well enough for the party.”

She nodded. 

The jerky-movement guy opened up his mouth to say something but didn’t, looking like Baekhyun did him a great injustice. Baekhyun flipped him off. He kept his middle finger in the air until they were in room no:3. 

The room was on the other side of the entrance door. It was almost as big as the previous two rooms combined. It had no furniture (so that’s why room no:2 had a bunch of stuff stuffed in it), just a small stage for the DJ and Junmyeon had someone install three poles in the middle of the room. It was quite dark and the lights were turning and changing colors randomly. 

The DJ — it was Mino — was swaying emotionally to the slow sexy music he had going on. 

Hwasa was using one of the poles with a pretty blonde girl. Her friend was wearing a delicate looking white bralette and skinny jeans, and Hwasa had her signature cropped green and white t-shirt on, along with white shorts and a garter stockings.

There was a petite girl dancing alone near them and she was looking at them with wistful eyes, biting her lips. 

On the second pole, Nana was dancing alone. She had her back to it, her legs spread wide and hips swaying sinfully. Her long blond hair was moving along with her, and her arrogant, sexy smirk was visible. 

Some people around the door, who weren’t dancing were just staring at her, transfixed. 

“Oh my,” Taeyeon whispered, as she had just noticed who was on the last pole.

Kim Junmyeon, the birthday boy himself, the man of the night, the president of this cursed frat was humming along to the music with an emotional expression on his face, he looked almost nostalgic. Fuck, he looked old. One hand on the pole, he was just going round and round. His other hand was holding a bottle of a drink that Baekhyun didn’t know, half of it was gone. 

Taeyeon pulled Baekhyun a little bit more into the room and started to dance slowly, her eyes on him. Baekhyun winked at her and started to dance too. 

“Nobody you liked back in the kitchen?” Baekhyun said.

“Hmm no,” Taeyeon answered. She closed her eyes and really started to get into the music, bringing her hands around his head and then down down down. 

After a minute she asked, “You busy tonight?”

Any other night, Baekhyun would have said no. He would have stayed the night with Taeyeon, like they did many times after they broke up. Whether they slept together or not didn’t really matter. Taeyeon trusted Baekhyun and Baekhyun was determined not to let her down. She was his first love, after all; he would always love her. 

But tonight, Baekhyun realized, something was different. Maybe because it’s been a long time since they stayed together for the night, or maybe (and this was most likely) it was because Baekhyun’s heart leaped again today after so long. 

He didn’t know whether he would see Jongin. He just knew he really wanted to. And it would be unfair for Taeyeon to have Baekhyun when he had someone else in his mind. She wouldn’t like it if she knew anyway. 

“Someone on your mind?” Taeyeon said, guessing his thoughts as usual.

“I think so,” Baekhyun said. “Sorry, but I might be busy from now on.”

Taeyeon’s smile was sad but it was a smile nonetheless. “Ah, I had hoped for one last night, but I’m really glad we had this, you know?” she said, coming close to him and wrapping her hands around his neck delicately. Baekhyun took her waist and she leaned her head on his chest. 

“Me, too” Baekhyun whispered. “Thank you — and I know this is really greasy and cliché but thank you, thank you for the memories.” 

“You have to be happy, okay?” Taeyeon said. “Thank you for the memories too. It was really fun and I think it really helped me understand just how good relationships could be,”

Not for the first time, Baekhyun realized just how tiny Taeyeon was. He kissed her head and hugged her tighter. “I’ll be happy,” he promised. “And I know when I see you again one day in the street, you’ll be laughing and cooing at your baby that you dream about.” 

Taeyeon giggled into his chest and then sniffled. “Will you say hi to me?”

“Nah, I don’t think I will,” Baekhyun said. “I think I’ll smile and nod to myself, and know that at last the world did you right.”

“You’re so mean,” she said, but with no bite in it. “Our promise still stands, right? You might have to marry me in 20 years, you know?”

Baekhyun chuckled. “Yeah, it still stands. Come and find me if we’re both single at over 45. We’ll marry, adopt three adorable kids, a cat and a dog, and we’ll do such good jobs in raising them that they’ll go to sleep every night excited for tomorrow.”

“Sounds good,”

Tears were forming in his eyes so Baekhyun blinked them away. 

Taeyeon looked up at him and said, “I love you,”

“I love you too,” Baekhyun said. He kissed her cheek and she kissed his. And somehow, deep down in him somewhere, Baekhyun knew that their promise was not to be fulfilled. 

“Hey, Mino!” Baekhyun shouted, as Taeyeon pulled back. “Shoot me a Macarena, will ya?”

With an automatic reflex to obey a direct order from a senior student, Mino gave him a thumbs up and played the song right away. 

“Aww — hey!” Junmyeon protested but everyone was shouting. Those few who weren’t dancing joined into the circle. Baekhyun and Taeyeon happily shouted and started doing the iconic dance that shaped a generation. Their eyes never left each other and they kept making their moves goofier and goofier to make the other one laugh. Then they pulled out their 70’s disco moves and moved their hips and chest exaggeratedly. 

“ afoiejrkljfaljkdlaowolkajflkjwe … Heeeeeey Macarena! AIGHT!” they sang together, laughing their asses off. 

Taeyeon’s eyes were tearing, but from laughter, her cheeks were all flushed, and Baekhyun thought she never looked prettier. And he was grateful, for this memory too. 


	4. Pizza and the Meaning of Life

Still hungry, Baekhyun had barely taken two steps into the kitchen when Jongdae jumped on his back (Baekhyun took a hold of his legs out of pure reflex) and the ballsack screamed into his ear — the audacity! The nerve!

“DO YOU HAVE A PREGNANCY TEST?”

“What the fuck, dude? GET OFF!” Baekhyun screamed back. He tried to drop him but Jongdae clung onto him like a sloth. So Baekhyun started to shake up and down. It was a slow and hard work. 

“Dude, stop, it looks like we’re doing a weird non-fucking fucking. 

Baekhyun stopped. His legs were ready to give away anyway. 

“Will you stop screaming?”

“Yes,” Jongdae promised. “Can you get to the fridge? I heard there was a cake in it.”

“His birthday cake?”

“No, of course not. It will be delivered right before midnight as usual — I heard Irene got this one as a gift,”

Baekhyun sighed. “And did you ask for permission?”

“What the fuck dude? Of course I didn’t! Now move!” 

“If she, or anyone else, asks, I’ll tattletale,” Baekhyun said. 

He opened up the fridge and sure enough, there was a beautiful pastel pink and white cake, decorated with cream flowers, petals and tiny trees, and there was a green-hooded figure in the middle. No doubt made to honor the iconic look Irene wore for last year’s Halloween. 

“I heard she sold her cloak in an auction, “Jongdae said, finally letting Baekhyun free and settling down on a counter. 

“Yeah, I heard that too,” 

Baekhyun couldn't find any clean plates but he managed two spoons and handed one to Jongdae. 

From the first bite of the cake, Baekhyun knew he would end up eating at least half of it. The cake was phenomenal. It was extremely soft and creamy and wasn’t overly sweet, which was not an easy feat to find in cakes. 

“Holy shit,” Jongdae chuckled, “whoever made this should totally open up their own place.”

Baekhyun frowned and checked the box. He hadn’t really noticed the lack of writings on it. 

“This is hand-made? I mean — this was personally made for her?” he shouted. “Dude — stop eating!” 

But he himself just swallowed what was in his mouth and immediately took another spoonful.

“You stop eating!” Jongdae replied, getting as much cake as possible in one-go.

“I’ll stop if you stop eating!”

“No way, dude! Fuck off!”

“You fuck off!”

“I let you know about the cake, you ungrateful, stupid, bent dick! Now kindly fuck off!”

Baekhyun slapped Jongdae’s hand away from a cream rose — Jongdae was trying to eat all of them, the greedy bitch — and smashed his face into the cake, gulping down as fast as he could.

Jongdae yelled in frustration. “Why you — fuck off!”

Baekhyun, without bothering to lift his face, yelled into the cake, “You fuck off!”

“Fuck off, Baekhyun!”

“No, you fuck off!”

“How about both of you fuck off?”

Baekhyun and Jongdae shared a moment of fearful look and looked back. Irene was standing right behind them, her beautiful face full of disgust. 

She was one of the pretty girls who got a ‘legendary’ status in the school’s history. On her way to get a master’s degree in library science, Irene liked to spend most of her time quietly with books. She loved taking care of her plants and knew how to knit; every year she presented her friends with something handmade. Baekhyun had heard from someone, who had heard someone saying that someone else was saying that apparently Irene used to do ballet from a young age and was at least a medium-level piano player.

Most people were intimated by her classic vibe or just straight up bored by it, but if one took the time to get to know her, she was pretty fun and nice and could casually talk about slitting your throat before lending you her neatly-written, color coded notes. 

“What the fuck is wrong with you two?” she said, pushing them aside and looking down at the cake to assess the damage. 

She sighed deeply. 

“This is no good now,” 

Something in her voice sobered Baekhyun and Jongdae up right away. 

There was obviously something wrong.

“Eh, Irene?” Jongdae said, as if he was talking to someone who took a bullet for him and was slowly dying. “We’re sorry — who sent the cake to you?”

“Yeah, we’re really sorry,” Baekhyun mumbled, ashamed of his foolishness.

“My mother,” said Irene. “She sends me a cake every year for my dad’s birthday. I once said, when I was a kid, that I was cheated a cake every year because — you guys know my dad isn’t around, right?”

Baekhyun nodded. Even though he didn’t know. He was pretty sure Jongdae didn’t know either but decided to nod along anyway.

“So anyway, I love cake and I said that if I had a dad, I would be eating a cake on his birthday too … didn’t, of course, realize how hard I was hurting my mom with my words — it’s okay!” she added, as Baekhyun and Jongdae tried to intervene. 

“After that, we got a cake every year. Later on, my mom really got into baking, and now she sends me one — it’s a birthright.”

Baekhyun didn’t know what to say. He only had heard that Irene’s mother was a big deal in the beauty industry, and, now that he thought about it, he had never heard a word about Irene’s dad. 

It wasn’t weird that he didn’t know though; nobody bothered with parents unless you were extremely close, and even then it was usually wise not to bring them up unless the other person talked first.

Jongdae looked thoroughly miserable. 

Then, “Ah, you guys really bought that,” Irene said and she burst into a loud fit of laughter. 

Baekhyun nervously laughed along, not knowing whether he was more relieved or pissed.

Jongdae protested, his sharp voice filled the kitchen. “I can’t believe — THAT’S NOT A JOKE! You don’t lie about stuff like this, Irene! Stop laughing, I aged so much just now —”

Still laughing, Irene daintily wiped the tears from her eyes. “I didn’t lie, you dipshit. Well, not all of it was a life — I should say,

“My father really isn’t around. During the early 90’s, when the economic crisis was the worst, my dad left my mother and me — there’s a good chance he married a rich lady. I really did say those things about the cake, and my mom did buy me cakes and then later on started baking them. I always felt like it was my birthright to spew whatever I want about my father because of what he did, you know?”

Baekhyun’s face dropped again and Jongdae slowly spilled down onto the floor. “Why’re you doing this to us — oh yeah, we ate your mother’s cake —”

“Oh, this isn’t my mom’s cake. My father’s birthday was last month,” Irene said, and Jongdae aimed a kick at her. Irene smoothly stepped aside to dodge it and then kicked him back. 

“Serves you right, you filthy scum of the earth,” 

As Jongdae howled and whimpered in pain, Irene took out a napkin from her pocket, which was wrapped around a pair of chopsticks and a spoon.

“So who made this cake?” Baekhyun asked, after, of course, taking a picture of Jongdae on the floor, who flipped him off.

Irene raised an eyebrow. 

“One of my many many admirers, of course,”

“Respect,” Baekhyun said earnestly, and joined Irene on the holy mission of finishing up the cake.

Irene, Jongdae and him had a nice little time chatting about disappointing garbage of fathers, and animatedly abused all the trashy men they knew in their lives. 

“Hang on,” Baekhyun said, suddenly remembering. 

He threw his spoon into the sink and turned to Jongdae. “Were you asking me for a pregnancy test?”

“Oooooh,” Irene whistled and sat down smartly. She opened up a can of beer and watched them, as if she was watching a show.

Jongdae laughed sheepishly. 

“Yeah, my girlfriend was late and she’s always on time — ”

Irene and Baekhyun’s mouths dropped open.

“Dude —” 

Baekhyun found himself, once again, not knowing what to say. Congratulate him? What if they weren’t planning to keep it though? And Jongdae and his girl were still both students — not that there was anything wrong with it, it just wasn’t the most ideal time to have a baby on your hands …

“Bastard, say something!” Irene shrieked. “So we know what to say!”

Jongdae grinned, looking bright and mischievous, and Baekhyun knew before he spoke.

“We already had an argument over baby names,”

“Dude, congrats!” he said, in a little bit of shock. This was a huge deal!

“But then — you’re here!” Irene said. “Aren’t you supposed to be with her? Go to her, you idiot!”

Jongdae smirked. “Well, she took the test like 2 months ago, she’s now almost 4 months pregnant — why do you think I was almost never here these days? She gave me a night off since tonight is … well, tonight.”

Irene, with a furious inhale of air, opened up her mouth but then, presumably, deciding Jongdae had a right in getting back at her, shut it.

Baekhyun frowned. “Then why did you ask for a pregnancy test?”

“Ah, yeah,” Jongdae chuckled. “She wants me take it,”

“Pardon?” Irene and Baekhyun said together.

Jongdae shrugged. “Apparently if it comes out positive it means I have cancer or something — wants me to test it out,”

“Well, then, we must get you one,” Baekhyun said, holding in his laughter; this was probably the first of many many strange things Jongdae’s girl would ask him to do while she was pregnant.

“Come here, you,”

Irene pulled Jongdae into a hug and Baekhyun hugged him from behind. 

“Your baby is gonna be the cutest!” Irene squealed. “You simply must bring it to campus sometime — free babysitter anytime you need!”

“I’ll hold you on to that,” Jongdae whispered.

Baekhyun heard him sniffling and his breaths were shaky.

Somebody, a saint, probably, had ordered a shit ton of pizza, and people had made a short line from the entrance to the kitchen, passing the boxes to each other. 

Baekhyun stole a random box and went upstairs, with all the intent to sit down and eat his pizza while watching people make their most cursed memories. 

His path was blocked by Junmyeon, who was sitting in the middle of the staircase alone, looking at the door with a sad face.

“Heeeeeeey,” Baekhyun said, knowing that Junmyeon saw his pizza and now he had to share it. “What’s up, buddy?”

Junmyeon looked at him, but didn’t speak. His eyebrows were slightly lifted and his eyes were glistening … with tears.

Oh fuck.

“Pizza?” Baekhyun opened up the box and saw that he had snatched a plain cheese one.

Without saying a word, Junmyeon took a slice and started to eat.

Thinking he was witnessing the saddest pizza eating that ever happened in the history of humankind since the invention of this holy-level food, Baekhyun took a slice for himself and decided to enjoy it before Junmyeon started crying over how old he was. 

“I’m so old,”

Oh fuck. That was fast.

“We’re only one year apart,”

Junmyeon finished up his slice and clutched his head between his hands. Baekhyun winced. All that grease …

“I’m so ooooooooooold,” Junmyeon drawled. “What am I going to do? I haven’t changed or improved since I was like, fifteen! Except, I got better and smarter when it comes to treating women right. I’ve no idea what I want to do — why do I even live?”

He sniffled and looked up at Baekhyun, his lips were shriveled up. 

“Why do I live, Baekhyun?”

“Fuck should I know, man,” Baekhyun said, remembering how he had the exact same talk last year, and the year before that.

Every year, Junmyeon had a brief existential crisis on his birthday. It was easy to miss since it didn’t last long and there were always so many things happening at the party. 

And for some fucked up reason, Baekhyun had been caught in it every year. He knew that Junmyeon would remember none of this tomorrow — lesson learned the hard way — but he couldn’t just leave him or say nothing when Junmyeon was genuinely vulnerable at the moment.

Baekhyun heaved a sigh and kicked his legs long.

“You live to throw this party every year,” he said. “You live to call your parents and your grandparents on your birthday, to thank them. You live to open up the presents the next day, knowing most of them will just become that random shit in your room, and still love them. You live to play with your friends, sing with them, study with them, go on trips with them and come to their aid when they call you at odd hours. 

You live to see the sunlight everyday, to feel the wind against yourself. You live to make yourself a proper breakfast and feel like a champion. You live to go for a run in the morning because you really want to.”

Nana smiled at both of them as she walked up the staircase, she quickly bent down to give Junmyeon a kiss on the cheek. 

Junmyeon grinned goofily and scooched in closer to Baekhyun. He snuggled in and rested his head on Baekhyun’s shoulder.

“More,”

Baekhyun chuckled.

“We live to eat. Just think about all the delicious things out there. We could actually eat something different every single day, for three meals a day, and we still wouldn’t have scratched the surface. We live to dance, to sing, to act, to read, to cry, to laugh, to kiss, to have sex and yell and scream and howl and to kiss babies’ feet. 

There are dogs to pet, cats to spoil, and penguins to squeal at. Birds to feed, whales to marvel at. The wonders of the world don’t cease — it evolves and goes on, with or without us.

Speaking of the wonders of the world, we get rainy and stormy and snowy and windy and capricious days. It’s the most amazing thing to sit inside with warm food in your belly and a good book in your hands during those days. To hear the wind rattle your windows and have the rain beat against it … I could sit by the window and watch the snowfall for hours and hours ...

Think about the concerts we went to. I mean, we’ll never forget when Adele came, will we? Our throats were so sore and our voices were so hoarse the day after IU’s 5 hours long concert. And don’t forget our plan to go to Disneyland. It’s almost here, man. I, for one, plan to see as much as I can of this world. 

There are languages to learn — hundreds of them, dude! Just think, sink it in, for a second, how marvelous that is. New songs get released everyday, new movies and plays and series to watch. Now, more than ever, we get new books in pretty much everything there is in this world. So so many books, man … The amount of games that are available to us now! From raising plants to dressing models to cleaning houses to surviving a zombie apocalypse — anything you want, you got it.

And once every four years, we get to watch the best ones of the world compete in all these wonderful fields of sports. The energy, the force, the concentration, the will and tears holding them together is fascinating to watch. It makes you feel like you could actually fly away.”

Baekhyun paused when he saw his friend coming into the party. Having today’s tiresome matters left behind, she looked radiant with her long wavy hair set loose, which was usually tied up into a bun. Her little black dress had two straps connected with buttons and it had two side pockets. It would have been a very modest, librarian-style outfit (she was even wearing a pair of round glasses), except that she was wearing nothing but a bralette underneath it. 

She waved at him excitedly and cooed at Junmyeon, who was starting to drool with his eyes half closed. 

Baekhyun made kissing faces at her and silently waved her to go on — it was too late for him, but she still had a chance.

Junmyeon nuzzled his face against Baekhyun’s shoulder. 

“Moooore,” he whined. “I’m not asleep yet, you know?”

“Our family,” Baekhyun continued. He took a hold of Junmyeon’s hand and played with his fingers.

“The friends we made on the way. Teachers, doctors, delivery-men, bus drivers, street vendors, that one employee who doesn’t give a shit about you checking out the new consoles by playing for hours at the store. There are more good people in this world than the shitty ones, we have to remember that. 

Our lovers. Ah, just thinking about my first love gets me giddy every time. She was the peace-maker of our class, did I ever tell you about her? She was loud and geeky and fun. I felt like she was made out of pure love; she was always so nice and helpful and forgiving. She was fierce too, and stood up for her friends all the time. I used all my tricks to sit with her in the 6th grade, and I would just rest my head on my arms and watch her during the classes. She would scold me but let me take her notebook for the day so I could write down the notes. I just really liked to have something of her, and I changed my writing style to match hers.”

Baekhyun thought about his first love fondly. She had moved away to another country at the start of the 8th grade. They had stayed in contact through Facebook, but after a few years, one day, her profile had been deleted and that was that. 

He liked to imagine her being her usual loud and happy self. Wherever she was, she had to be happy. For Baekhyun, she would always be that child who burst into laughter when he gifted her with a pen that made farting noises.

“Love really is worth it. The feeling of your lovers heat pressed up against your body when you wake up is … just something else,” 

Baekhyun sighed. He sneaked a peak at Junmyeon, and found him fast asleep. 

Hoping he won’t drool on his jacket, Baekhyun took another slice of pizza for himself and decided to wait for Junmyeon to wake up, which, according to his experience, should take no more than twenty minutes.

“Ummm … hi,”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I couldn't update last week T T
> 
> The Covid-19 situation is pretty bad where I live. I've been self-quarantining for two weeks now, and will probably stay in for at least another month. So I had a lot of things to prepare and get it in order. 
> 
> I hope you guys will enjoy this. Please comment, they feed me. 
> 
> Wish you all healthy and better days~

**Author's Note:**

> I'll be updating this — at least do my best to — every Friday or on that weekend.


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